Best. Costume. Ever.

I have a favorite event that I enjoy this time of year. Yes, my birthday is in August, and that is fun, but that's not it. Halloween is coming in a month, but that's not it either... I am talking, of course, about the Renaissance Festival!

Every year, we get to step back in time to a more simple period. A period of sword fighting, of jousting, huge tankards of mead in one hand and a large turkey leg in the other. How fun to walk around and admire the people dressed in period clothing: large-bosomed women showing off their ample endowments, and men in chain mail, leather, and capes. Swordsmen and princesses, jesters and wenches.

Of course, I am reminded many times that I know nothing about the Renaissance. I had assumed that the Renaissance was a cultural movement resulting in fundamental changes in art and mathematics. The only math and art I saw, however, was a sign on which all of the $5 items had been changed to $6 with a blue pen. $6 for a bowl of soup? Not very Renaissancey if you ask me...

But I digress.

What I apparently did not know was the amazingly wide variety of couture available during that time. Some of my favorite recreations included:

1. A Wizard. Dressed in full regalia, complete with Gandolfish hat. I wasn't sure if he was from the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter Renaissance eras, though. it was tough to tell. He did have a very cool looking pipe...


2. A large group of girls in Capri pants, t-shirts, tennis shoes, and of course, duchess hats.


3. Many different guys wearing boots, jeans, some sort of death-metal t-shirt, and a cape. I seriously had no idea that death metal originated during the Renaissance, but we are discovering of course that I know very little...


4. A young man had a couple of newly created Samurai swords. Again, forgive my lack of Renaissance knowledge, but...
   
   
   
   1. Um... Samurai swords? In a recreation of an English Renaissance village?
   2. The handle and sheaths seemed to be made of pine. Plain pine. No decorations.
   3. Aren't you supposed to go through rigorous training and be ready to kill yourself for your cause before you are given a Samurai sword? He had TWO!!
   
   
5. Not one single person dressed as Robin Hood. NOT ONE! I was so disappointed


6. It was Pirate weekend. Ok, sure... pirates existed at the same time... but so did Pilgrims, and I didn't see a single person dressed as a pilgrim! But, I did see...


7. ... a pirate werewolf!!! Yes, people, it is true. They DO exist. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a picture, but rest assured, although it looked like a bad werewolf mask and gloves, with bare arms and legs, shorts, t-shirt, and tennis shoes, I assure you it was a pirate werewolf! The pirate hat was the giveaway.

Ok, sure, Kelly and I had a good time. No turkey leg or mead for me this time, and there is the arrow-shooting incident that I do NOT want to talk about, but I did get my Master Marksman certifications in the axe-throwing and ninja-star throwing competitions. Yes, apparently lumberjacks and ninjas were also a part of the Renaissance.

I really need to take a History class.

Reflection

I am incredibly fortunate to have landed a job recently at the Disabled American Veterans headquarters in Cold Spring, KY. I am finally working for an organization with a mission statement I can stand behind, a company devoted to the welfare of my fellow veterans who have been injured while serving their country. I am honored to be here.

We have a small museum here, with many memorabilia from many different wars over the years. However, there is one item on display that is not from a war, which does not honor veterans. It is a flag, upon which is written the names of every known victim of the terrorist attacks on 9/11. It is quite moving to sit and read some of the names, almost as though one is allowing those names to mean something more than just a marker to keep their place in our history.

An email was sent out yesterday within our organization, reminding people to take a moment to remember the victims, and encouraging us to wear black. Here is what part of the email said:

As we remember the September 11, 2001, attacks on our Nation this Patriot Day, let us reaffirm the vows made in the earliest hours of our grief and anger. As liberty's home and defender, America will not tire, will not falter, and will not fail in fighting for the safety and security of the American people and a nation free from terrorism. Let us continue to bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to them.

Please take a moment to remember our fallen brothers and sisters today.

Life is like a box of chocolates...

... you never know when it's going to bend you over and kick you in the nuts. Or something like that. Fuck it, I don't give a shit.

Ok... Most of you people reading this know me pretty well. You know that I am all about integrity. Honesty. Trust. They are very important things to me, things I value above almost everything else -- even cheese. So, why is it that I always seem to end up with people who pay lip service to these values, but don't practice them?

How does someone tell me that they are on the verge of falling in love with me one day, and then break up with me the next day after a disagreement? How can she tell me so many wonderful things that she loves about me, and how much she wants to see me, then tell me our relationship is over the very next day? Did I mention that it was less than 24 hours??? I am sure I read and heard the words "I'm not going anywhere" several times in the last week.

Yes, I can be pretty intense at times, but this is the real me. Take it or leave it. I am real, I don't play games, and I never pretend to be someone I am not. I am honest, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and you know what? Sometimes we will get into an argument. Sometimes we won't see eye to eye on things. It's called a relationship. They take work.

In hindsight, I see where the descent began... It was a week and a half ago, on Labor Day. There was this look in her eyes she had when I was leaving, like she was glad to see me go. We experienced a wonderful weekend together, quite blissful, then within a 30 minute period, I was practically pushed out the door to my 5 hour drive home. Next weekend, she didn't want to talk to me for 3 days straight ("stress"). Emails that used to come to me 10 a day trickled down to 1 or 2 per day. She told me NUMEROUS times that she thought I'd be happier with someone local. Why oh why didn't I read the signs? I suppose I did... I knew it was coming, and pretty much told her that I saw them. She denied them. She told me she wasn't going anywhere. I was being silly. She was just focused that day on Labor Day. She was tired. Stressed. Job had her down. Focused on her charities. Fuck... why can't anyone just come out and say "I don't see this relationship going anywhere?" Why lead me on?

Well. She was right. She didn't go anywhere. She stayed right where she was, and told me on the phone last night that she was done, and didn't want me to come around any more. No discussion. I get no say. Just like I got no say about when I could see her -- I had to fit into her schedule somehow. Just like I got no say about whether she was going to not call me for 3 days. "Sorry Michael, sucks for you... we're done, have a good life, go fuck yourself."

Just perfect.

My new resolutions:

1. Stick with a local woman.
2. Find someone who doesn't have to fit you in to a schedule a soccer mom/girlscout leader would cringe at.
3. Date women who actually know how to feel passion, and who aren't afraid of a man in touch with his emotions.
4. Find someone who believes that trust, honesty, communication, and respect actually mean something.

Failing that, I'll join a monastery. At least there I won't have to deal with communication issues.