From time to time, I will put my writer's hat on, climb up on my soap box, and lecture someone on the power of words. I wax poetic on how important it is to use the proper word or words, to convey the meaning you intend; to paint the proper picture in the reader's mind. I'm sure I come off sometimes as a pretentious bore, especially to those people that really don't care how they get their point across, as long as the intended recipient gets the main idea.
Piers Anthony is one of my favorite authors; He has a way of using words that practically sing to you. They splash paint on the canvas, but he ultimately leaves it up to the reader to make his own interpretation of the resulting abstract images. He is a master of the craft, and I can only hope that someday I will possess a portion of the talent that he possesses.
Recently, I was shown the power of a simple word. As I have pondered it, its power has grown, and caused me to shift my thinking in profound ways.
As many close to me know, I have had a very rough time for the past month or two. My mother passed away a week before Christmas; she died while I was holding her hand. I have had some tough relationship issues recently as well. I don't know what fate has in store for me, and it has been very difficult for me to accept.
It is easy to fall apart, to feel sorry for myself, and blame the Powers That Be for putting me through the ringer. I have often spouted such profound statements as "relationships suck," with the intent of garnering sympathy from those who wish to empathize and tell me just how right I am.
Someone close to me has also gone through some difficult times. She said something to me that has since caused me to reexamine my own point of view, and it has shaken me a bit.
She said "relationships can suck."
Of course, when she first said it, I completely agreed. Yep, that's what I always say: relationships suck. Then I did a mental double-take. That is so NOT what she said. She said they CAN suck.
Have you ever played Boggle? I have been searching the Boggle dice of my life for some sort of purpose, some meaning, some great 8-letter word that will blow everyone's mind. That simple statement upended the dice, and gave me a completely new playing grid. I'm seeing all sorts of potential, and it has energized me in a way that nothing else has.
Everybody dies. I can't wallow in self-pity forever, pining over the lost opportunities with my father. He is gone, and I am not to blame for the chasm that separated us when he was alive. I cannot go back and fix the problems he and I had. It's time to move forward.
I cannot bring back my Mom. She asked me to let her go, to be at peace with her decision to not suffer any more pain. How can I mourn her passing, when she herself believed that she was moving on to something better, and would not have to suffer any more. It's time to celebrate her life, and her legacy. It's time to move forward.
Sometimes, someone comes along in your life, and they have a tremendous impact. I am lucky to have had someone enter my life who really seems to "get" me in ways nobody ever has. She has helped me get through some very rough times, and for that I am eternally grateful.
What a word, "can!" It takes the finality out of any phrase; relationships can suck, but they don't always. It gives us hope; the 49ers can do well next year (ok, I know, a big stretch there). It certainly has made me think, and I realize, I CAN turn my life around. I can take care of my finances, and turn over a new leaf. I can let go and let destiny take its course.
Life can suck sometimes, but it doesn't have to.
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