If Only Life Came With d20 Rolls

I know this may come as a shock to many of my friends, but I enjoy playing games.  I am not a huge fan of the Dungeons & Dragons games of yore, but today's digital versions of the classic dragon-hunting, gold-hoarding, and weapon-wielding games are among some of my favorites.


My current favorite RPG (role-playing game, for those of you not paying attention) is Skyrim.  It's very immersive, and no two people will play the game the same way. One of the first things you must do is create your character. This is the avatar you will be using for the rest of the game, and in a game that can take literally hundreds of hours to play through, you want your character to be perfect.


But I'm getting ahead of myself.  This post isn't about games.


We all crave perfection. We want the burger to look just like the picture in the ad. We want the Olympian to stick the landing, even if his leg is broken. And we all want the Knight-in-Shining-Armor/Beautiful Princess.


When filling out an online dating profile, we include all of the good qualities about ourselves, attempting to paint the perfect picture for our potential mates.  When describing the person you want to be with, you will list all of the qualities you desire in your soul mate.


Wouldn't it be amazing if we could find that person?  The one who has every wonderful quality we admire: kindness, generosity, a loving touch, sexual compatibility, a sense of adventure, etc.?  Even better, of course, is one that does not embody your personal pet peeves.  Non-snorer, doesn't bite nails, isn't forgetful, always uses a coaster on the nice furniture, and never puts the recyclables in the trash can. Wouldn't that be amazing?


Yeah. That'd be awesome. What are the odds of you finding this person? And what the heck does this have to do with role-playing games? Well, if you'll pipe down and stop asking so many questions, I'll tell you. You really need to work on your patience.


Ahem.


In Skyrim, it's amazing how many options you have in generating your character, from your race and gender, skin tones, body and face shapes, and even cheekbone structure!  Of course, these are all cosmetic, and none of your choices really affect you in the game with the exception of race; each race comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. They are fairly well-balanced, so you have to take the good with the bad.


More interesting (and relevant) is how your character develops throughout the game.  As you progress, you make certain choices that will affect game play later on.  For example, if you choose to convince a farmer's daughter to stay home, that farmer may help you with a subsequent mission.  You can play with tremendous benevolence, always choosing the path of righteousness, or you can proceed through the game hacking and slashing everything and everyone you come across. It's entirely up to you.


As you progress, your character gets bonus points that you can apply to one of many skill sets. Do you want to become a better archer? Done. Would you like to learn spells more easily? No problem. However, you must choose wisely.  Each choice builds your character to have very unique qualities, and no two people will create the exact same character.


In the "olden" days, you rolled a few dice and applied the scores to various abilities such as strength, agility, and speed.  It's the same concept, really, just more depth and variety now.


So what, you say?  Here's my point: The makers of these games realize that, like in life, you can't simply maximize your level in all of the areas.  If you could do this in Skyrim, your character would be practically invincible, and what's the challenge in that?  You have to decide in which skill sets your character will excel, and which are not important.  Will you build a light-footed elf with dead-eye aim with a bow and resistance to poisons?  Or will you create a powerful wizard with fearsome magical power who can be easily killed with a knife if someone manages to get past his defenses?  Perhaps you'll be a mighty barbarian or knight with tons of armor and a deadly ax-wielding arm?


No matter what path you decide to follow, your character WILL have weaknesses.  You must accept them, and learn to get through the game in a way that maximizes his or her strengths, and minimizes their frailties.


The same applies to the real world. Try as you might, you will never find someone with maxed-out qualities. He may be absolutely beautiful, but he might also be vain. She'll be generous to a fault, without a dime to her name.  He may be amazing in bed, and a thoughtful lover, but also an egregious flirt.  She could be the next Marie Curie, but often won't remember where she parked the car. It's one of the most annoying cliches, but it's 100% true: nobody is perfect.


What you have to ask yourself is "what matters most to me?"  Do I care if she flirts with other men?  Will it annoy me if I have to remind her every night to turn off the lights? Is it so bad that he spends so much time working on his car? You have to take the bad with the good.  It's yin and yang. Black and white. Darkness and light.


Chances are, if your mate were perfect, eventually THAT would annoy the FUCK out of you, because "obviously" they would know they were better than you.  Right?  Because as we all know, you're not perfect either.


And please... stop popping your gum, before I knock it out of your mouth.